Butterflies, jitters, and a racing heart…all things we’ve felt when we’re nervous for an upcoming event. Our toddlers experience those big scary emotions just like us, with none of the tools to deal with them unless we help our kids develop them.  Fear of the unknown can be extremely scary, especially when it comes to starting school for the first time. Reading back to school books like The Kissing Hand will help prepare your child before sending them off to a brand new place without you.

The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn is a text every single parent and child should read before starting school. It so tenderly normalizes those pre-school jitters while providing practical ways to deal with those big emotions when your child is away from their favorite person. You’ll read, love, and feel more connected than ever after reading The Kissing Hand, the pillars of My Book Bud. But, I just dare you to try and not cry while reading one of the most beloved back to school books. 

In this post, you’ll find four age-appropriate literacy activities related to The Kissing Hand. These activities will not only help prepare your child’s heart for school, but also yours. You and your child will infer, discuss feelings of anticipation, make connections, and come up with ways to deal with being apart from one another. So, go on, and prepare for school and build emotional resilience. 

The Kissing Hand

Author: Audrey Penn 

Illustrator: Ruth E. Harper 

Published by Tanglewood Press, 1993 

Summary: Oh no! Chester Raccoon is worried. He doesn’t want to leave the safety of home, or his mommy. A small kiss on the hand gives Chester a way to carry her comfort with him, helping him face his new experience feeling braver, calmer, and still deeply connected to home.

I hope you and your child love these book activities for kids for The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn. Be sure to explore my ideas for other great picture books like Papa, Please Get the Moon for Me by Eric Carle.

Skills to Tackle with Back to School Books (The Kissing Hand)

Inference: Best for ages 2-6

An inference is an educated guess the reader makes by using their background knowledge on a subject and combining with the evidence from the text to figure something out that is not directly stated by the author. We also infer in our daily lives making it a very important skill to learn and master.

• For example, if your child asks to try a new spicy food they’ve never had before and after taking a bite, they make a face, you can infer that they don’t like the food. They didn’t have to tell you that explicitly, instead you used the evidence of the “face” and your background knowledge on how some people respond to spicy food to make the inference. 

In The Kissing Hand, Chester the raccoon has a whole range of emotions from the beginning to the end of the book. Many back to school books will show a wide range of emotions to reflect how a child will feel before starting school. You and your child can discuss how Chester is feeling and how you know he is feeling that way.

Example Conversation:

• Parent: Chester has a lot of feelings throughout this book! How do you think he was feeling in the beginning?
• Child: In the beginning, it seemed like he was a little sad.
• Parent: How could you tell he was feeling this way?
  • This question is very important as they will be able to back up the inference of Chester’s emotion with evidence.
• Child: Well, he was crying and was saying that he wanted to stay at home with his mommy and toys.
• Parent: Right! And if someone is crying and doesn’t want to do something, it usually means they are sad. 
• Parent: Do you think Chester felt different at the end?
• Child: Yes! I think Chester was happy at the end!
• Parent: How could you tell he was happy?
• Child: Well, he was smiling, and playing with a ball, and dancing! 
• Parent: Oh, right. If someone is doing those things, they are definitely happy. What made him go from sad to happy?
  • You could break off from the story and ask your child what they do when they are happy. This helps them make a connection to the story and themselves. 
• Child: Well, his mommy made him feel brave and less scared when she gave him a kiss on the hand. 
• Parent: Yeah! Chester realized his mommy would always be with him even if he couldn’t see her, making him feel less sad and scared about school! 

These very simple inferential questions are much deeper than they seem on the surface. These questions may seem basic but they are laying the groundwork for some very deep and critical thinking in the future. Making inferences about emotions, especially with picture books, is a great way to practice this skill because your child can use the illustrations to help them make the inference. 

Extend the Conversation:

Extend the conversation by making “emotion faces.” My kids, even my youngest, love this game.

With my baby, I’ll look at him and name and make a face (happy, sad, scared, surprised, mad, etc.)  and see if he can repeat it back to me. He can do some of them, but some of them just make him laugh. He absolutely loves the surprised face. Sometimes, he will just make a surprised face at me which tells me he wants me to play the game with him. This very simple game is already helping him develop the ability to infer other people’s emotions. 

My older two kids like to play “magic emotions.” I will pretend I have magic hands, and shoot out emotions at them. They then have to pretend like the magic made them act out that emotion. Their absolute favorite is “silly magic!” Sometimes, when I shoot out “happy or mad magic,” they turn it into silly magic on their own. This game always makes us crack up. They love it and they are learning the valuable skill of what each emotion looks and feels like. They also get to practice having each of those emotions in a safe and loving environment. 

Back to school books provide a safe space for kids to practice and talk about their thoughts and feelings before they even come up, making kids feel more prepared when these feelings truly do arise. 

Anticipation/Starting Something New: Best for ages 3-6

Sometimes when we start something new, we get nervous at first, but then once we get there, we feel better. So, what are some things we can do leading up to the event to help ease our minds? Reading back to school books like The Kissing Hand is one of those ways!

Everyone gets nervous when they are starting something new, but kids often feel this kind of nervousness much more intensely than adults, especially when they have no previous experience with the situation.  Think about how scared you would be to start a brand new job, but you didn’t have any job description, and you’re expected to be there and listen every single day, and you need to part with your loved ones that you’ve never been apart from before. How scary would that be?! 

For many preschoolers, the idea of school can be very intimidating, particularly for those who have never been in any type of school environment before. Your child may be very nervous, but that’s only because they don’t know what to expect. 

Talk to your child about the different ways they can get ready for school and what they can expect when they get there. Sometimes simple conversations go a long way. Open conversations can help ease a child’s mind and prepare them for the upcoming event.

Example Conversation:

• Parent: You’re going to be starting school in a few weeks! Do you know what that means?
• Child: I’m not really sure…
• Parent: It’s a place you go to learn!
• Child: Will you be there too??
• Parent: No mommy (daddy) won’t be there, but I will be there to pick you up (or when you get off the bus). And I’ll be SO excited to hear all about your day. 
• Child: But I’m going to miss you so much. 
• Parent: I know. I’m going to miss you so much too. Do you want to know a little bit about school?
• Child: Sure…
• Parent: Well, when you go to school you are going to learn all kinds of things. You’ll learn your letters and numbers. You’ll do fun projects. You’ll get to play with all of the toys at school and on the playground. And best of all you’ll get to meet a bunch of kids your age who will become your friends! 
• Child: That sounds fun, but I’m still really going to miss you. 
• Parent: Oh, baby, I know. I am going to miss you so much. But do you want a kissing hand like Chester raccoon? Will that help you when I am not with you?
• Child: I think so. 
• Parent: Let’s practice doing  a “kissing hand” right now! I’ll give you a kiss on the hand and then I’ll walk into the next room. You tell me if you still feel my love for you even after I walk out of the room.

Practice saying “good-bye” with a kissing hand. Make sure your child gives you a kiss on the hand too. First try just walking into the next room. Then try going a few rooms over. Each time you come back together, discuss how you felt and if you could still feel the kissing hand even when you were apart. 

If your child is still nervous about school, practice playing school at home! Set up a “classroom” in your living room and pretend to be the teacher. Pretend to welcome the students, have story time, circle time, “learn” letters/numbers, do a small project, and “meet” the other kids (stuffies or action figures). 

Your school will likely be very different from their actual classroom, but giving them a baseline to practice with will really help with the unknown expectation. Practicing with you will also help them feel safe and secure going into their actual school. If your child really loves playing, have them pretend to be the teacher! Letting them take charge and have fun really helps to ease the tension. 

The goal here isn’t to take the nerves away completely, but to make the experience feel more familiar and less scary. You may need to have these conversations and practice the kissing hand and read several back to school books many times, but that’s normal and helpful.

Free Printable!

Use these checklists to help get your child (and yourself!) ready for the school year. As your child gathers supplies and practices important routines and skills, check off each item together.

Back-to-School Checklist!

Making Connections: Best for ages 3-7

Readers can make connections to the text in several different ways. Connections can be made to yourself, other texts, or to the world around you.

Here are some examples to help you understand the different types of connections (Harry Potter edition):

• Text-to-self: This reminds me of me.
  • Harry is excited to learn magic. That reminds me of when I was excited to try soccer for the first time.
• Text-to-text: This reminds me of another book.
  • Harry, Ron, and Hermione are three friends. That reminds me of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Peter, Susan, and Lucy all work together just like Harry and his friends.
• Text-to-world: This reminds me of something in real life (in the world, community, or society around me).
  • People in the wizarding world treat Muggle-born wizards unfairly. That reminds me of how, in the real world, some people are treated unfairly because of who they are.

Going to school for the very first time can be scary because of the unknown. This is a super relatable feeling for kids, and adults for that matter. When you are starting something new and don’t know what to expect, it makes you feel uneasy and nervous. By preparing ahead of time and using guides like certain back to school books can help tremendously. 

You and your child can talk about this feeling and if they can relate to it in any way. Your child might feel that way about starting school and they might also connect it to another time they’ve already felt that way. 

The Kissing Hand is written to be used as a guide so, use the “kissing hand” for times when you are apart! Talk about other times when your child might need a “kissing hand” and how they think it might help them.

Example Conversation:

• Parent: It seems like Chester was really nervous to start school. Have you ever felt that way?
• Child: Yes! 
• Parent:  Me too! Sometimes when I am nervous it feels like there are butterflies flying around in my belly and my hands get really sweaty. How do you feel when you are nervous?
  • Your child may or may not have the words to describe “nervous” yet so modeling how you feel when you are nervous helps them understand and conceptualize how they are feeling even if they don’t realize it yet.
• Parent: Are there any times you have ever felt nervous?
• Child: I was really nervous to start gymnastics last year. 
• Parent: Oh, yeah I remember that. What do you think made you nervous?
• Child: I never did gymnastics before so I didn’t know what it was going to be like, but once I did it, I couldn’t wait to go again!
• Parent: Doing something new can always be a little scary, especially when we don’t know what it’s like. Do you feel that way about school? 
• Child: Yeah, I am excited to try school, but I am scared to be away from you. 

Your child might feel two things at the same time. They might be excited to try a new thing (school), but being away from you might be what is making them so nervous. Talk about how you can still feel connected to each other even when you are apart.

Example Conversation:

• Parent: Chester’s mommy had a really good idea to help Chester feel better so he didn’t miss her so much while he was at school. She took his hand and kissed it. Her love jumped right into his heart and anytime he missed her, all he had to do was press the “kissing hand” to his cheek and he would feel his mommy’s love jumping around inside of him. Do you think we could try that? 
• Child: Yes! 
• Parent: Do you think there are other times when you might need a kissing hand beside just school? 
• Child: Yeah, I don’t like being away from you. Sometimes when you drop me off at Grandmom’s house I get sad if you have to leave. Maybe we could try a kissing hand next time we go there.

Brainstorm for other possible times a kissing hand might be required:

• Before bed
• Before a playdate
• Before a sport or dance practice 

My daughter loves The Kissing Hand and always asks for a kiss on the hand before bed. She tells me most nights that she doesn’t want me to go, but after we do a “kissing hand,” she is ok with saying goodnight. I remind her that even when I am not with her, my love for her is right there in her heart, and if she needs a reminder, to just put her palm on her cheek and my love will light up in her heart.

I always ask for a kissing hand from her too. I want her to know that as much as she misses me at night, I miss her just as much. I actually think her giving a “kissing hand” back to me is sometimes more helpful because it feels less like a one-way street of just missing me. 

Using back to school books help kids make connections and opens the door to some deep and meaningful conversations. “Nervous and worry” are two very complex emotions, but having the freedom to talk about them with a loving adult builds love, trust, and connection.

Extension Activity: Best for ages 2-7

Kids show love in all kinds of ways. Some kids, like my daughter, might love the kissing hand. Other kids might think that is silly and don’t want that kind of physical affection from you. Even if your child doesn’t want to do the kissing hand, they may still want some sort of sign that your love is with them throughout the day. And some kids might want multiple different reminders of your love throughout the day when they aren’t with their most trusted loved ones. 

You and your child can brainstorm different ideas and ways to show and hold on to each other’s love that isn’t the kissing hand. For example, as I mentioned above, my daughter has a hard time saying goodbye at bedtime. One night when she was really struggling, I picked up her sippy cup.

We love to recycle and reuse the Good2Grow juice cups that have the characters on top. The particular cup she had that night had a dragon on top. I grabbed the cup really dramatically and took a huge sip out of it. I then placed my hand on my heart and said, “Wow! That cup is filled with Gracie love! When I took a sip, it filled my heart with your love! I think there’s some mommy love in there too. Take a sip!!” She LOVED this idea. 

That night I told her if she was missing me to take a sip of her dragon juice and she would feel my love. The next morning, she took the dragon juice to school with her so she could bring some mommy love to school too. This super simple moment turned out to be a life saver and something that she connected with and loved. 

You and your child can brainstorm other ideas like this so that when they are away from you, they still feel your love! 

Alternative “Kissing Hand” Ideas:

• Mommy and Me Bracelets (daddy, grandparent, guardian, etc. and me):
  • I plan on doing this when my daughter goes to kindergarten. Make simple bracelets for each other and then wear them on school days. Tell your child that because the bracelet was made with love, you will be with them all day long. Don’t go and buy something expensive for this, that way if they lose it (which is likely inevitable), you can just make another one for or with them, making it extra special. 
• Special Handshake:
  • Make up a basic but silly and fun handshake between you and your child. Right before they have to leave you, do the handshake. It will hopefully make them laugh and put a smile on their face just moments before saying goodbye to you.
• “Catch” a Love Bug:
  • My kids and I do this all the time. Pretend there are little “love bugs” flying around your room. Pretend to catch one and “lock it” inside of your heart. Scream out, “Oh, I caught a *your child’s name* love bug!” and proceed to pretend to lock it inside. Tell them to quickly catch a mommy love bug. Then lock the love bug inside by tickling your child. This helps to keep the love bug locked in all day! 
  • Tell them if they miss you, it might be because their love bug escaped, but don’t worry, there are always love bugs flying around. All they have to do is catch another one and lock it inside again! 
• Bow and Arrow Kisses:
  • Instead of kissing your child’s hand, release a bow and arrow of love at them. Pull out your arrow, knock it in your bow and send it to your child. The best part is, you can do this even if you are two feet away from them or all the way across the school parking lot. If they send one back to you, act like you were dramatically hit by their bow. They will love the extra drama and will fill their cup up even more! 
• “Mommy Loves Me” Mantra:
  • A simple chant in the morning is a gentle reminder that they are loved. Before leaving the house for school, find a quiet moment to repeat some phrases like:
    • Mommy loves me even when she’s not with me.
    • It’s ok to miss mommy, but she will come back. 
    • Mommy’s love will never fade.
      • For added effect, have them tap their chest as they are saying these things to really enforce that your love will always be in their hearts. 

These are some great alternatives to “the kissing hand.” Some kids love physical affection from their parents and loved ones and a kiss on the hand might be the key to their success. Other kids might not want that and these alternatives provide them with the same reminders as the kissing hand, but in a way that is better suited to their needs. Use these ideas or brainstorm new ones with your own kids! These ideas will hopefully help your child feel loved and safe even when you’re apart.

To Wrap Things Up:

Back to school books provide a way for parents to explore the big emotions surrounding the idea of starting school. Using books like The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn will help equip you and your child with ways to deal with them when they come up. So, soak up those snuggles with your little one and get prepping because a prepared child is a confident one. 

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